The bridesmaid duties and responsibility that you NEED to know

Unlike Western wedding, in some Asia countries, bridesmaids still haven't had any clue about their duties and responsibilities.

Being a bridesmaid doesn't means you just come to the wedding, dress up beautifully and take pictures with bride and groom. So in this article, we are going to write about the important role of bridesmaid.

Talking about wedding, organising your wedding might be one of the most stressful things  stress. Bridesmaid is the one who calm the bride down, cheer up when the weather is not so supportive, fixing makeup/hair or wedding gown, etc.

With the closeness between bride and bridesmaid, they are one of the key to some emotional moments on the wedding day, that us - your wedding photographer will capture it. It could be first look with the bridal party when they first seeing you in wedding gown, exchange gifts, reading letter for each other, etc.

Being a bridesmaid means agreeing to a fairly long list of responsibilities. It’s a huge honor to be invited to stand with a loved one on their wedding day.  

But you might also be asking yourself — what bridesmaid duties am I responsible for, exactly? What are a bridesmaid's responsibilities for before, during and even after the wedding day? 

As a part of the the Bride Tribe, a bridesmaid is expected to plan and attend all pre-wedding parties, help out with aspects of the wedding planning as needed, and be totally present and available to the bride on the wedding weekend.

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A. If you are the maid-of-honour

The maid of honor is in charge of the bachelorette party and bridal shower, as well as leading the rest of the bridesmaids throughout the planning process and on the day of the wedding. A bride will typically appoint a sister, female relative, or best friend as the maid of honor.

After being asked, the maid of honor should initiate a conversation with the bride to discuss how best she can support her during the wedding planning process. Be open about personalities and decide if the bride will delegate and ask for help or if the maid of honor should periodically check in and offer support without being prompted. Discuss the level of involvement and support upfront and be mindful of relationships the bride may need to navigate with family

 Your important responsibilities include:

  • Lead the Bridesmaid Troop
  • Plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party
  • Go wedding dress shopping
  • Help tackle DIY project
  • Answer guests' questions
  • Hold the bride bouquet
  • Give a toast
  • Keep her partner's ring safe
  • Arriving at the bride’s house in plenty of time for the hairdresser and make-up artist.
  • Be there for the bride Emotionally (and Make the bride Laugh!)
  • Round up friends and family for Group photos
  • Looking after a handbag for the bride.
  • Make sure that the Bride eat and drink
  • Sign the Marriage License
  • Act as a back-up hostess
  • Keep tissues, blotting paper (wedding survial kit), and a lipgloss/ lipstick to hand for touch-ups throughout the day.
Intimate Wedding of Jessica & Ryan in Hoi An well captured by Andrew Nguyen, Hipster Wedding

B. If you are the bridesmaid

If you don't want to do any of these things, politely decline when you're asked to be in the wedding party.

1. Buy a bridesmaid dress—and don't complain about it.

Though some brides will cover the cost of the dress, it's generally expected (especially in the Northeast, in our experience) that each bridesmaid pays for her own dress, within reason. (And "within reason" will depend on the bridesmaids' age, employment status, etc.)

2. Be Her Emotional Rock

It goes without saying planning a wedding is an extremely emotional time, and the bride will need your support both during the months leading up to the wedding and on the actual day. No matter how stressful the ordeal becomes (bridesmaid dress shopping is hard!), it's important to be a trooper (even if you hate the color she picked out).

3. Show up for the wedding—and dance, damn it.

Unless there's a death in your immediate family or you go into labor, your butt better be at the ceremony and reception, and you better be dancing. (At the latter, not the former. That would be awkward.) Sometimes a mellow crowd needs a few "sympathy dancers" to hit the dance floor and get the party started. The wedding party should always be a part of that group.

4. Help plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

The maid (or matron) of honor is in charge of the parties, but bridesmaids are expected to have ideas, give feedback, help decorate, chip in cash, and assist with the hostess duties. If you're on a limited budget, be up front about it. ("I'm excited for Lauren's shower. I know we all have great ideas, so let's try to set a budget right away so we don't bankrupt ourselves before the wedding.") In some cases the mother of the bride or groom will kick in funds for the shower—or even offer to host—but this is the exception, not the expectation.

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  • Destination Wedding Photographer in Phuket

5. Attend the bridal shower, bachelorette party, wedding rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner, unless there are major constraints.

The bride can't demand that every bridesmaid be at every pre-wedding event, but you should do your absolute best to be at all of them. (The exception, IMO, is if the bride is having multiple showers. If that's the case, attending one shower is sufficient.) If you're a plane or long train ride away or, say, the bridal shower conflicts with a marathon you've been training for for months, you get a pass. And a rowdy bachelorette party isn't mandatory for bridesmaids who are pregnant or brand-new moms. ("Brand-new" meaning they have a newborn at home. Put on your dancing shoes—at least for a few hours—if your kid is older than, say, six months.)

6. Lend a hand to the MOH.

The maid of honor may have to do a bit of coordinating to ensure that the wedding stays on schedule. Assist her as best you can—meaning — and don’t be putting last-minute touches on your makeup when you’re supposed to be in the limo heading to the ceremony!

7. Pay for your own transportation and accommodations on the night of the wedding.

The bride can't ask you to camp out on your dime for the week of her wedding. But if the wedding is far from home, you should expect to spring for an overnight stay. It's the bride's job to say up front that bridesmaids' expenses include a hotel stay.

8. Listen to a little bit of bitching.

The bride probably can't complain to her groom without sparking a fight, so it's your job to open a bottle of wine and put on your listening ears. That said, if the bride is incessantly whining about her horrible mother-in-law or her thoughtless groom or the vendors that are out to get her, it's within a bridesmaid's rights to say, "Wedding planning REALLY seems to be stressing you out. Let's take a break from wedding talk and go for a run/get our nails done/watch a Bachelorette marathon.

9. Keep It to Yourself

Most importantly, if you're feeling left out, keep it to yourself. The biggest favor you can do for your bride is keeping her out of any friend drama. Keeping tensions low while she's stressing over the wedding plans is vital.

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  • Hoi An Wedding - Intimate Wedding of Angela & Joey captured by Vietnam Destination Wedding Photographers Hipster Wedding-7920
  • Hoi An Wedding - Intimate Wedding of Angela & Joey captured by Vietnam Destination Wedding Photographers Hipster Wedding-0071
  • Hoi An Wedding - Intimate Wedding of Angela & Joey captured by Vietnam Destination Wedding Photographers Hipster Wedding-9969
  • Intimate Wedding of Jessica & Ryan in Hoi An well captured by Andrew Nguyen, Hipster Wedding
  • Intimate Wedding of Jessica & Ryan in Hoi An well captured by Andrew Nguyen, Hipster Wedding
  • Intimate Wedding of Jessica & Ryan in Hoi An well captured by Andrew Nguyen, Hipster Wedding
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